Life Cycle Events / Services: Jewish Funerals and Unveiling Ceremonies
The Babylonian Talmud teaches in Berachot 62A that a eulogizer must share the good qualities of the deceased person during the eulogy. I believe in a very personal approach to a funeral, making the time to meet with and/or speak with family members with compassion and understanding to learn more about the deceased loved one and later share more personal, meaningful vignettes/stories and comforting words of Torah uniquely connected to the loved one. I also believe in making the space for the family to open their hearts and share, while also helping to guide the family in creating a meaningful funeral service that honors their loved one and meets their unique family circumstances and needs.
Rabbi Adin Steinsaltz, z”l, writes in his book The Soul (Maggid Books, Israel 2018) that “[a]ny holy act performed in the world continues to exist on a spiritual plane, and since the soul is open and receptive, it takes pleasure in the radiance of the Divine Presence, or, in other words, from the experience of everything it acquired, and was preoccupied with, in this world.” As a local community rabbi when I officiate at funerals, I believe it is crucial to share the essential beautiful character traits and holy acts of the deceased loved one, not only as a respectful memorial and tribute to the loved on in the past, but as a reminder that these holy acts performed in this world should be an inspiration to us all in the present and the future. The profound effect of teaching these character traits and holy acts to our children and future generations in the name of the deceased loved one is to both remember our loved ones and lift up their souls, as well as imbue our own lives and those of future generations with greater meaning, l’dor v’dor, from generation to generation.
My role is to help be present for the family, connect them with our Jewish tradition and other resources, and guide them thru the beginning stages of their loss and the grieving process, tending to their specific needs, whether it be a chapel service, graveside service, and and/or shiva prayer services following the funeral in the home or at another location. There is also the Jewish tradition of having an unveiling of the tombstone approximately one year after the funeral and I assist families in preparing the Hebrew names for the tombstone as well as leading the unveiling service at the cemetery.
Contact Rabbi Friedman at 732-844-3465
